day at the mall
by Midnight Raining Down
Summary: Gift giving wasn't a competition, but Ed was determined to win.


Hello! It's been a long, long while since I've been in the writing game, so I've been slowly trying to ease back into it. This is just a fun silly little drabble. It's completely unedited, but I hope you enjoy it all the same!

* * *

It was crunch time. The Elrics were prepared. They were in the mall parking lot in their traditional Family Group Huddle.

"Ok here's the game plan," Edward said. "I'm going to shop for the Bastard. _Somebody_ needs to show him what fashion is, and I'm going to take that burden. Winry, you shop for the baby. Make sure it's something so adorable that the kid wants _us _as its parents. I'll take kid one, you take kid two."

He stared at each member of his family. They all stared back.

"I don't have to remind you what's at stake here."

After a jubilant yell of "BREAK!", the Elrics ran inside the mall. Ed and his son Yuriy (kid one) went to the top floor while Winry took the stroller containing their daughter Nina (kid two) to the bottom floor.

The mission: get gifts for the Mustangs. Roy Mustang, the selfish bastard, ended up having a kid two days after his birthday. One year later and Ed realized he would have to suffer the consequence of this for the rest of his life. A gift giver he was _not_, but Mustang was (begrudgingly) a lifelong friend and he had to at least (pretend) to put in an effort.

They only had one hour until Mustang's daughter's birthday party. Ed knew, he _knew_ that his boss wasn't expecting anything for himself. He _knew_ that a one year old girl did not have her own opinions yet and would not prefer Ed over her own flesh and blood father.

But still. But still.

Gift giving wasn't a competition, but Ed _was determined to win._

And there was always bonus points for doing things under a time limit, wasn't there?

Ed was fully intending to buy something, probably of the clothes variety, of nice quality. He _was_. He didn't know what it would be, but he knew when he saw it that he would know what it was. Probably something simple, classic, _boring. _Something that Mustang would appreciate, and in turn _Hawkeye_ would appreciate, and in double turn Mustang would appreciate that Hawkeye appreciated it, and in triple turn Mustang would remember that _Edward_ gave it to him, and in quadruple turn realize _Hawkeye's attraction was because of Edward's sick sense of style—_

He took a much needed deep breath. They had finally reached the clothing store. With a goal in mind, they entered.

—

Winry was worried. They had separated forty minutes ago and Ed wasn't answering his phone. They were going to be late.

Winry's mission for baby clothes and a few toys was fun but ultimately uneventful and she managed to get everything she needed in twenty minutes. She wandered around window shopping until she realized a significant amount of time had passed and she had no idea where her husband or son were. She stood at the bottom of a pair of broken escalators to avoid crowds, trying his number and again and again. What had happened?

After the fifth call, she looked at her phone and realized Ed had called her when she had tried to call him. The next two minutes consisted of a ridiculous game of phone tag until finally they caught each other.

"_Where are you!_" He all but screeched, as if _she _was the one that pulled a disappearing act.

Deep breath, Winry.

"We're at the bottom of the escalators," she said.

"Well meet us at the top of them!" He sounded aggravated and stressed, like she was wasting his time.

She loved her husband. She also loved humbling him.

"Ed," she said starting off slowly and gaining more momentum, "the escalators are broken, I have a stroller, a bag of clothes, and two toy dolls to juggle, so _no we are not going to meet you at the top, you are going to meet us at the bottom and then we are leaving_!"

"Fine!" He snapped. "_Fine_! _I'll_ meet _you_ at the top of the escalators and _you'll_ meet _me_ at the bottom!"

The line went dead. Winry stared at her phone. She waited one second, two seconds, three seconds. Ed did not call her back. She didn't think he would.

One minute later she saw her husband and first born child approaching the broken escalators and standing, looking around. Eventually Ed looked down at his wife.

Ed stared at Winry. Winry stared at Ed.

In silence Ed and Yuriy descended the escalators.

Winry looked at what her husband was holding. His absence began to make sense.

"It was an accident!"

"You bought the shirt…what, like, thirty minutes ago?"

"An _accident_, Win."

"So it was accidental that you gave Yuriy shirt paint to…_decorate_ it."

"…Well, see, the accident is actually that the clothing store was next to an art store. So if it's anybody's fault, it's the art store for advertising things to decorate shirts _with._"

"And not yours for having no self control."

"Not at all."

See, Elric really did intend to give a nice present to Mustang. But then he saw the art store, saw the supplies, saw the twinkle in Yuriy's eye.

"Do you want to have some fun?" Ed had asked.

And that was that.

Winry shook her head, took one look at the (probably outrageously expensive) silk shirt covered in children's handprints, crude evil faces, polka dots of various colors, and a surprising assortment of glitters. Ed looked at his wife, nervous for her final judgment.

"Nina and I have to add designs to it as well, that way it can be from all of us."

He sighed with relief, took the bags of baby clothes and toys, and looked at his family.

"Ok gang, mission accomplished. We have a birthday party to get to!"

The Elric family left the mall, goodies in tow.

(The shirt was hideous, made even more hideous when Mustang actually wore it. But it was by far the gift with the most personality, so Edward took it as a win.)


End file.
